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Selection of articles written between 2005 and today.
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The Bastard Prince in ‘Fuck you Chris Hanson’
So my mom doesn’t like it that I’m single. “Oy vey, she says, I’m your mother, I worry. You’re out with those boys all the times, doing your improvised street theatre. It’s no life for a meylekh mamzer.” And she’s right you know. I’m almost thirty three years old, I’m unemployed, and I’ve never had… Read more
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Fantastic Tales of Jesus No 2: Diary of St Paul
Dermot Byrne brings you the second of his audio comedy series ‘Fantastic Tales of Jesus‘. This week, ‘The Diary of St Paul’. Download: The Diary of St Paul (3.75 Meg, MP3) These gentle tales are sponsored by the cool fresh taste of Maureen’s Delicious Grape Wine, the wine that makes you go “More Wine Maureen!”. Read more
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Jesus Solves Your Problems: AltBro Lifestyle
Jesus has recently been informed of the difficulties facing his altbros trying to maintain their brand integrity. Even UrbanBros can feel less real since Kanye made ‘project SceneBro’ mainstream. These days P4K is the new MTV, and Zane Lowe Billy Zane thinks it’s cool to dir3ct tweehop vids; it’s harder than ever to know just… Read more
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Jesus has a Hunch
The social recommendation system Hunch.com, allows you to build expert systems (primitive artificial intelligences really) to suggest products, services or solutions to everyday problems. By entering a series of questions, and suggesting a collection of solutions, users can build miniature problem solvers, answering questions like ‘What martial art should I learn?’ or ‘Which contraceptive is… Read more
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Jesus Advocates: Masculinism
What does it mean to be a man? What is today’s masculine paradigm? Is it the Govenator, that steroid hewn fusion of marketing mythology? Is it Alan Partridge or David Brent, swollen, broken half men, wracked with narcissistic self loathing? Is it Don Draper, the illusion of a confident misogynist? Perhaps it’s the midget machismo… Read more
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Doctor Scientist Defeats: Heartbreak
Jesus Notes: I’ve written what may be the worlds nerdiest joke. A joke so dweebish, it was necessary to learn the mathematical scripting language Latex in order to tell it. There follows the joke. Renowned expert Doctor Scientist has developed a methodology to precisely calculate the duration required to return to a base level of… Read more
