Don’t Feed The Trolls No 1. – ‘Two little stickboys’


Ah, the genius of IMDB, or to be more specific, the ingenius trolling which goes on on the fora of the world famous film database. Everybody loves a good troll, a subtle, ideally undetectably ironic, undermining of the principles of sanity and civil discourse, for the purposes of cruel entertainment. A good troll does not end the debate with a moronic non sequitur, rather he turns serious commentators against one another, transforming a once eloquent and pointed discussion, inarticulate and inchoate. There can be few websites better suited to this cruel hobby than the Internet Movie Database, with its thousands of committed movie buffs, casually name dropping Bergman and La Nouvelle Vague, bickering the use of the pathetic fallacy in Werner Herzog’s early films.

A couple of years back, a friend sent me a particularly hilarious example. A master troll who had discovered a hotbed of internet dissent in which to plant his seeds of hilarity; the debate over Michael Henickys film ‘Funny Games’. Funny Games is an intricate, brutally dispiriting exploration of the media’s relationship to violence. By making a suburban family the victims of a home invasion – Henicky mirrors the discomforting ‘droogs in the countryside’ section of Kubrick’s ‘Clockwork Orange’; questioning both our Hollywood derived masculine vengeance fantasies, and the pornographic portrayal of violence without consequence.

These considerations were apparently lost of one commentator ‘Pimptaddyone‘, who considered the film an insult to his vigorous machismo.

Seriously, the wife character was a golddigger. She obviously married a rich guy and didn’t seem to care about him being short and scrawny. This cracks me up, because these women deserve this crap. Marry a real man! If I was in the husbands situation and these punks did this stuff……I would kill them. I would break both their necks. I could easily kill both of them at the same time in under one minute with my bare hands. Two little stickboys come over and they do not have any weapons. They don’t have guns or knives. They just walk over and pull this stuff. The second the wife told me to kick them out, they would be out. I would physically push them out of the house and proceed to beat the living sh-t out of them. These kids were stickboys! They were little scrawny punks and they owned this rich snob. He was taken out so easily, and this is why women should stop getting married to these rich little punks. I took pleasure in seeing this game play out, since I thought the rich family deserved it. Her husband needs to hit the gym so he can protect his family.

Needless to say the sly winks riddling this post were lost on the IMDB shoals who immediately took the bait. They should have known better, a quick search on the site reveals oodles of gems from this prankster, including this wonderful comment about Jesus Camp (a documentary about fundamentalist Christians indoctrinating their children en mass), entitled ‘I wonder how many of these girls in the film will later become strippers’.

You know they will hit the pole to show daddy they are not taking anymore of this religious crap. I feel sorry for these kids and this is child abuse. If your religion is correct then brainwashing your child is not needed. They will eventually find the truth later in life on their own. Of course intelligent people know religion is a neurological disorder and simply a means to control mankind. I have no issue if an adult wants to talk to an imaginary friend. They can even choose to worship the easter bunny, santa clause or the cookie monster. However, to subject children to the brainwashing and cult indoctrination depicted in this film is cruel and these parents should not be allowed to reproduce. The level of stupidity and weakness needed to force feed your child this crap is incredible. Like I said before, I would love to follow these girls as they grow up and see how many of them become strippers, prostitutes or little sluts who sleep around. Now the guys will probably become wife beaters, or serial killers. Oh well, just another day in the life of someone so beaten down and abused as a child by religious nuts that they make Bin Laden look a guy who is nice to kids.

P.S. The fat lady at the beginning calling other people lazy and fat was hilarious. Has this fat pig looked in the mirror?

Needless to say, this post was even more successful at disrupting rational debate.

More wonderful tomfoolery can be found in this list of ‘Pimptaddyone‘s marvellously insane posts. This one, where he provides five reasons to hate Jason Statham, “the British Vin Diesel”, is especially fun.

Just in case you still consider it possible that ‘Pimptaddyone’ is serious, check out this entry from Encyclopaedia Dramatica, about how he ruined ‘The Dark Knight’ for thousands

Check back soon for more great moments in internet trollery! And remember…



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