O’Irish talk show host Ryan Tubridy has begun a campaign to end a centuries-old practice known as the ‘cutting of the rose’. The procedure – still performed today across North Africa and parts of the Middle East – involves carefully safeguarding a little girl’s chastity for her husband, and has few if any known side effects.
‘This violence against woman must stop,’ the zealot said in a press conference last Tuesday, ‘Female Genital Mutilation is a cruel and barbaric form of torture inflicted on helpless children.’ The star went on to describe widespread use of the safe and culturally appropriate procedure as ‘worse than vivisection’ and ‘an ugly, tasteless and monstrous tradition’.
We’ll leave it for readers to judge whether Mr Ryan Tubridy is merely misguided, or if in fact this extra dimensional lizard TV man finds thoughts of gaping girl gee tingling under his terrifying fingers far too erotic to keep to himself. The idea that women should enjoy sex is disgusting, and clearly against my dad.