Diary of a Dublin Sex Man

diary-of-a-dublin-sex-man

Monday

Did shopping, McCain Oven Fries are up sixty seven cents. Probably because of the name. I don’t like to complain, but that is blatantly outrageous, especially considering the recession. Stood at customer service desk for seven minutes, but no one came.

Tuesday

Brought brochure home with lots of lovely photographs of Malaga. Niamh said we couldn’t afford it, what with the slump-prime crisis and all, and that it would have to be the mobile home in Kells again this year. Suggested to Niamh that she tie me to the symbian with the new nylon ropes we bought off Colin in Condom World, but she had to pick up Deirdre and Andrew from piano practise.

Wednesday

Took over from Aonghus in the Bon Secours today. He’s away at a pigeon fanciers convention in Boise in America for two weeks, so I’ll be spinning the vinyls for two major Dublin hospitals instead of one! The Bon Secours is a fair bit posher than the Rotunda, so I played mostly the classics this morning. Right of Spring, Hanging on the Telephone, Thong Song… Only kidding about the Sisqo! Niamh had a date with Eoghan Flanagan ho runs the leather night in Parnell Moonies; so I went a bit mad with the old credit card and got a blu-ray and a biryani. Side Note: Brose Willis’s head is a funny shape in HD.

Thursday

Passed a hearse on the M50. Made me think of me mam and growing older. Kids away on scouting trip tomorrow till Sunday at two. Fun fun fun for Mammy and Daddy!

Friday 4PM

Played Born To Run by The Boss in the Bon Secours. Had a complaint from handicapped man. Must be more sensitive. Speaking of sensitive… Bought lubricant, new latex butt plug, ball gag (to replace one dog chewed), and lovely film for tonight, so excited!

Friday 2AM

whipperGot kids off to scout camp by six. Andrew was crying a bit, but Deirdre promised to look after him. Did large plate of Marks and Sparks Home Cooked Indian Treats for guests – v.dear, but Alan and Alan took us to Wagamamas last time, so fairs fair. Moire arrived and immediately wanted to put on her fursuit. No one else is into that, but Niamh said to put her in the little room and sit her in front of a dirty film with a can. Alan and Alan brought their friend Petra who has a lovely chest, but a bit of a hairy lip. I squeezed myself into my PVC nurses outfit with the woman face, and cropped Petra’s gee and arse while she noshed off old Alan. Everyone had a bit of a break for Bacon Bites and Indian Treats, then I laid down a tarp and albino Alan had a wee on Niamh. Alan wanted to do a Cleavland Steamer, but Niamh drew the line considering the Indian, so he just used the upstairs loo instead.

Saturday

Picked new kitty up from the animal shelter as a surprise for the kidlers. Back is killing me from vinyl related strain. Wrote letter of complain to BCI about offensive sirloin commercial on Today FM. Some people are sick.

Sunday

Kids home. Monthly STI tests. Niamh has chlamydia again. Boo!

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