’I miss him.’
Maybe it’s not that I miss him. I guess I just miss sleeping next to someone.
You know, it’s not even that.. I just sort of miss having somebody thinking about me. Somebody to cuddle.
Someone I could give a damn about.
Maybe I just miss saying I love you.
He wasn’t perfect. Pretty nuts, objectively. And we had so little in common.
He was so immature, so messed up. I’m not even sure if I loved him, how can you tell?’
I shuffled foot to foot uncomfortably. Christ, but Peter’s eulogy was overly honest.
Before us, Henry’s tiny casket sat on canvas sheeting next to the grave. It’s size a tragic reminder of his youth.
’He was more than my partner’, Peter continued, ’He was my best friend’.
’There were so many things I couldn’t tell him. So many thinks he told me that I wish he hadn’t’.
Beside me, Sophie looked puzzled. ’I don’t see how that’s exactly possible’, she whispered.
It was raining softly, so I couldn’t tell if Peter was crying.
’I was the better lover, I felt almost like his teacher. Ironic, considering how many others he’d
This was getting creepy. ’Listen Peter, maybe we should call it a day, and go grab a Big Mac. What do you think?’
Peter ignored me, gazing pointedly into the hole, the grave that would soon and forever, hold Henry’s tiny body.
’He wasn’t the prettiest partner I’ve had, and he certainly wasn’t the brightest, but he was easy to be with.’
Overly bloody easy, I thought.
’A part of me will always love him’.
He seemed finally to have finished, so I nodded to Sophie, and we each took an end of rope, gently lowering Henry’s cheap wooden casket into the damp, loamy soil. Peter took his little shovel, and tossed some earth onto the coffin. The rain had stopped and it was clear he was crying. I felt bad for the little tyke.
Sophie took one of his snotty, balled up little fists, I took the other, and we started toward the house together. It stopped raining suddenly, the smell of damp grass rose up, and the beach leaves reflected each other and the sky. There was something beautifully poignant about the moment.
’There there Peter’, I said, ’we can always get you another dog.’