Horrendous Videos I – Sex Education for Trainables

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvUH8eDYCxU]

The horrors of this piece of vintage exploitation almost decry description. In the senselessly disturbing introduction, Ron Jeremy uses some sort of patented come hither motion to lure a loping hippy simpleton toward his small Eastern European car, lovingly tussling her long brown hair like an England fan in a Sao Paulo topless bar. Apparently convinced, the girl takes a ride with the hedgehog; the unavoidable implication being that trained ‘retardates’ may gainfully acquire employment as ladies of the night.

Memorable moments abound, like the stealthy public cunny fiddle one ‘trainable’ attempts during a particularly dull art class. Or the grotesquely patronising ‘date’, awkwardly forced on two hapless salmon minded thirty year olds.

‘No one should use the body of an unwilling partner for their own pleasure’.

In our absolutely favourite scene, one unfortunate trainable is given an unsubtle shoulder rub at a public urinal, while a third man in a full length raincoat continues an unhurried piss, perhaps frustratingly interrupted by a mild hard.

A strange fear arises watching this muck, as few of the many featured ‘trainables’ have visible signs of learning difficulties, meaning it’s well within the realms of possibility that they were played by actors. Dire and frightening throughout. Never again will an Ennio Morricone whistle solo fail to induce a cold sweat.

‘We may not always succeed in reaching the trainable, however me must always try’.

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