It’s hard to remember quite who you are. All the air has been forced out of you, and somehow you can’t quite fill your lungs again. The first thing you properly feel, other than confusion and panic, is the particular weird pain of a grazed chin. Its strange that this is the first thing to… Read more

In the latest Richard Curtis jape, Freddie Murcury must pull the little princes (adorably portrayed by Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen in full clown makeup) through the brutal death of their mother. Helen Mirren makes a triumphant return in a double role, as the mutilated corpses of Dodi and Diana. But it’s the epic final… Read more

As the Jackdaw Fool Learjet coasts over Tarantino’s exclusive Maldivian getaway, El Duceador, I load my shotgun and Andrew straps on his rocket belt. We look at one another, beweaponed mercenaries, hired guns in the war of review, and our fists meet with an explosive slap. ’A good death’, he tells me. ’Dine in Metnal’,… Read more

I met Ronan outside the Savoy at half ten, and since Mark wasn’t answering his phone, we headed on in, giddily anticipating the epic to come. We signed the board proffered by a tall, ball and almost invisibly incidental marketing man, taking our seats in the darkened theatre. Consumed by hunger, Ronan soon left for… Read more

Bequothed to the city by the illustrious Count Reginald Von Clovis, the Ilac centre was originally designed to host the great Peace conference of 1923. Following the League of Nations inspection, however, it was felt that the Centre was too glamorous a venue and the conference was moved to New York. As a direct result… Read more